An open letter to old guys at the gym

Dear Old Men,

It is time for a change.  I would like to be able to come to the locker room without seeing one of you nude, sauntering around like a sharp dressed man.  I understand changing clothes, showering, etc. requires a certain level of nudity, but hanging out, chatting, taking cell phone calls, using the scale, and general loitering are activities that require clothing.  

If your wife calls, put on a pair of undies and call her back.

Want to weigh yourself?  Put on your favorite pair of boxers and I will gladly spot you the extra pound.  Helpful tip: If you weigh yourself with your clothes on every time, you can keep pretty good track of you fluctuations in weight.  No wrinkly coin purses please.

I appreciate your cooperation,

Locker Room User

PS: I am not a prude, but just a concerned citizen that has been exposed to more old wieners in the last month than any human should have to endure.